Top Five Dodgy Garden Fireworks We Can’t Believe Were Legal

Before health and safety forms, risk assessments, and “supervised public displays,” there was one man — usually your dad — armed with a box of questionable fireworks, a lighter, and unwavering confidence.

Back in the ’80s and ’90s, Bonfire Night was less about organised fun and more about lighting something potentially explosive in your back garden and hoping for the best. Here are five fireworks that somehow passed as “safe for home use” — and the memories (and minor singes) they left behind.

5. The Jumping Jack

The promise: A cute little firework that “jumps around and crackles!”

The reality: A flaming chaos gremlin. Once lit, it would ricochet around the patio like it was possessed, leaving scorch marks on fences, pets, and unsuspecting legs.

The soundtrack: Every dad yelling “STAND BACK!” far too late.

Why it was allowed: Nobody in authority had apparently ever seen one in action.

4. The Catherine Wheel

The promise: A graceful spinning display of light and colour.

The reality: A nail, a fence, and a whirling disc of fire that either refused to spin at all or suddenly snapped free and flew off like a demonic frisbee.

The soundtrack: Nervous laughter followed by panicked screaming.

Why it was allowed: Tradition, probably. And optimism. Lots of optimism.

3. The Banger

The promise: Just a loud noise — what could go wrong?

The reality: Everything. These tiny paper cylinders packed an ear-splitting punch and were mostly used by teenagers to scare pigeons, postmen, and each other.

The soundtrack: A distant “pop!” followed by someone shouting “WHO DID THAT?”

Why it was allowed: Because it was technically “only” a noise-maker — though it sounded like a small war.

2. The Roman Candle

The promise: A majestic column of sparks, lighting up the night sky.

The reality: A hand-held flame-thrower for kids. Everyone knew one person who tried to hold it, despite the box saying “DO NOT HOLD IN HAND.” Spoiler: they regretted it immediately.

The soundtrack: “It’s fine, just keep it pointed up—oh no, oh no, OH NO!”

Why it was allowed: Because people in the past trusted children far too much.

1. The Air Bomb

The promise: One big, dramatic burst to finish the night.

The reality: A deafening explosion that left you temporarily blinded, followed by car alarms, crying toddlers, and someone shouting that the washing line was on fire.

The soundtrack: Dogs barking for the rest of the evening.

Why it was allowed: It technically went up before it went bang, and apparently that was good enough.